• Skip to content

Rashid Darden

Old Gold Soul Press

Main navigation

  • Home
  • About Rashid Darden
    • Speaking Engagements
  • Old Gold Soul Press
    • Potomac University Series
      • Lazarus
      • Covenant
      • Epiphany
    • Men of Beta
      • Yours in the Bond
    • Dark Nation
      • Birth of a Dark Nation
      • Children of Fury
    • Dark Nation Stories
      • Pascal: A Dark Nation Story
      • Thunder Rolls: A Dark Nation Story
    • A Peculiar Legacy
    • The Life and Death of Savion Cortez
    • Time
  • Ministry
    • Restorative Quaker Design
    • Faith
  • Projects
    • Nalia
    • BlackOrgs.net
    • Joining Society
      • High School Fraternities and Sororities in DC
    • David Bowie Syllabus
  • Diary
  • Contact

Fraternalism

Our Love for Brother Marion Barry is Complicated

November 23, 2014 by Rashid

barry

Brother Rashid Darden, Editor of Notable Alphas, pays tribute to Brother Marion Barry.

” I don’t want normal, and easy, and simple. I want. . .I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. Don’t you want that, too?”  –Olivia Pope, Scandal

And so did the citizens of the District of Columbia want a love just as complicated.  A love that had to be explained to the rest of America; to the transplants and transients who arrived here with their carpetbags; and to the racists in Congress who–some to this day–don’t believe in the ability of Washingtonians to govern themselves.

This was our Brother Marion Barry (Beta Xi – LeMoyne-Owen College), who we loved complicatedly, unrelentingly, from the depths of our souls to the marble stairs of the District Building.

Much will be said about Brother Barry’s life of contradictions, from his personal troubles to his investments in the youth and the elderly; from his romantic commitments and liaisons to his uncensored language in council meetings.  Those wanting more depth on those topics may read many tributes sure to come.  Some will be the typical Democratic, tone deaf, “We were close friends” tributes rife with the illusion of proximity.  Others will be fair and balanced, scholarly pieces.

But today, I simply mourn him as my Brother and as a native Washingtonian.

When I was in the fifth grade, sometime during 1989 or 1990, I was somehow chosen to shadow Mr. Peter Parham, DC’s Director of Human Services and a member of Marion Barry’s cabinet.  Several of us were selected to go to his office, but before I knew it, I was spirited away from the other kids, who were shadowing office workers, and I found myself in a car with Mr. Parham, on my way to a cabinet meeting.

It all happened so fast.  Before I knew it, I was shaking hands with a bunch of cabinet members and ultimately, Marion Barry himself.  He was larger than life in personality, just as he seemed on television, yet someone accessible to me, like an uncle or neighbor.  Like many of my family, he had that southern twang in his voice, signifying that he, too, had migrated here from warmer places.  It was a great moment for me.

The major focus of this meeting was the drug trade.  Police representatives brought in all these products that the drug traffickers were using to smuggle drugs into the city:  soda cans, bottles of cleaning products, anything you can imagine. I remember, once I got home, feeling a deep sense of irony that the focus of the cabinet meeting was about drugs.  I cannot recall if my visit was before or after his arrest, but the suspicion of his drug use was rampant, even among fifth grade playground gossip.

That’s what life was like in DC in the 80s and 90s when you loved Mayor Marion Barry.  You knew, but you didn’t care.  You cared, but you didn’t know.  You loved him anyway, because he definitely loved you.  He was a civil rights leader who had assumed the next logical level of responsibility to the people.  So few did.  So few could.

I would see Brother Barry several more times as a child.  He was a special guest at the annual Cherry Blossom poster contest awards (hosted by Effi Barry, his now-deceased ex-wife).  He was a special guest speaker at my graduation, as he was practically everyone’s.  We all know his speech:  “Education is like Coca-Cola–it’s the real thing.”

But the damage of his addiction had been done.  Even though he returned to the Mayor’s office, and subsequently city council, people in my generation were tired of being the laughing stock of the nation.  We loved him, but it was hard to explain him.  We loved him, but we needed more.  We needed different.  We were tired of the complicated love, the dangerous love.  This love had transformed us, but it was time to let go.

Brother Marion Barry was still on the scene, though.  Just because I had emotionally let go of my attachment to the “Mayor for Life” doesn’t mean he had let go of me, DC, and the people who lived here.  He remained steadfast in his career as a politician, but also ensured that his own story was preserved and told.  Just this year, he published his autobiography.  A few years ago, he cooperated with the production of a documentary about his life.  (Links below.)

I am also personally proud that he was, for a period, affiliated with my chapter of initiation.  Mu Lambda Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha in Washington, DC was always proud to include him as one of their most notable members.

Today, we are sad.  As Washingtonians.  As DC residents.  As Brothers of Alpha.  His leadership changed my life.  His life changed my leadership.  He was my mayor.  He was my black brother.  He was my fraternity brother.  My love for Brother Barry hurt.  It was extraordinary.  It changed me.

And I am grateful that it was all of those things.

Rest in power, Brother Barry.

The Nine Lives of Marion Barry (Documentary DVD)

The Nine Lives of Marion Barry (Amazon Video on Demand)

Mayor for Life: The Incredible Story of Marion Barry, Jr.

Filed Under: Diary, Fraternalism Tagged With: alpha phi alpha, Fraternalism, Marion Barry, Mu Lambda

A Skee-Phi Wedding: Brother Ryan and Soror Allison

July 30, 2014 by Rashid

1908393_973692675533_277944144205526106_n

Brother Ryan Gilbreath is a Spring 2009 initiate of the Beta Gamma Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity at Virginia State University and a current member of Nu Lambda, the alumni chapter of Petersburg, Virginia.  His bride, Allison, came to Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority via the Sigma Omicron Chapter at Virginia Wesleyan University.  Their wedding took place on May 25, 2014 at the Founders Inn and Spa in Virginia Beach.  Below the jump, Brother Gilbreath talks about Alpha’s role in his wedding, his family, and in his life.

The brotherhood that I have with my frat brothers is amazing. All of my groomsmen were Alphas and I regard them as actual “brothers” and not just members.

I am [the only Alpha in my family]. My dad is a Sigma from Alabama A&M who pledged back in the 80s.  Me and my dad joke around about that all the time.  But I told him that when I was looking at fraternities, Alpha really connected with me.  I want to pass down my legacy to my son one day, but I will always respect his choices because at the end of the day, it’s his choice.

I loved my college experience after crossing; nothing like it!   There is such a legacy that you have to uphold and you learn that it’s not about you but more about the fraternity. People look at you as a leader when you cross Alpha.

Alpha for me has always and will always be a pivotal area in my life.  Alpha has taught me resilience and perseverance when it comes to life’s ups and downs. To always do what is right and to never give up; be a servant to all and to teach and uplift our communities.

Transferring to Nu Lambda [the alumni chapter in Petersburg, Virginia] for me was like coming home in a sense.  The chapter has a mix of older and younger brothers and I gained great wisdom from both sides.  I learned how to be an Alpha man even more, if you know what I mean.

For a wedding reception, Beta Gamma is known to put on a show! We performed a step from our 2009 neophyte show show and a party hop we learned from our big brothers.  Five years later and we still had the show down pat.  It’s still ingrained in me to this day.

I really wanted to incorporate the hymn with me and my wife in the middle. It was a very touching moment for us both and my wife teared up while I joined my bros. There is nothing like it.  Our Greek roots (for me and my wife, who is an AKA) are part of our story.  Also, if you did not notice from the video [below], our wedding colors were salmon pink and old gold!

My brothers have been there for me and I have been there for them. It’s deeper than the letters and the parties.  I regard them as family.

I will never forget that wedding experience for the rest of my life!

Ryan + Allison | Founder’s Inn, VA Wedding Videographer | Delta Studio Productions | Virginia Wedding & Corporate Videographers from Delta Studio Productions on Vimeo.

Filed Under: Diary, Fraternalism Tagged With: AKA, Allison Gilbreath, alpha kappa alpha, alpha phi alpha, beta gamma, nu lambda, Ryan Gilbreath, sigma omicron, soror, virginia state university, virginia wesleyan, vsu

Some Greek Life Photos

July 10, 2014 by Rashid

I take pictures.  Here’s a short gallery of some of my best work in Greek Life.

Filed Under: Diary, Fraternalism

Man listen….these AKAs rightchea!

July 4, 2014 by Rashid

Post by Veda Jairrels.

Filed Under: Diary, Fraternalism

Fraternal Friday: Maybe the inactive members have it right

June 6, 2014 by Rashid

On Facebook over the holiday weekend, a Facebook friend posted the following:

it absolutely burns me up to see a “brother” buy a new vehicle and the first thing put on it is a fraternity tag. Mind you, these same brothers won’t come to meetings, pay dues, or support any cause of the fraternity. If you’re not about what you’re advertising, don’t advertise. I’m tired of these letter wearers.

First, a fact:  A majority of initiates into my fraternity are currently inactive.  That is probably the case for every fraternity. Let me underscore the fact that the judgment of inactive members is a huge pet peeve of mine.  I have been inactive and I have been active.  I went from neophyte of the year to inactive member the very next year.  And when I came back to activity, I became a national committee chair.  And I am currently inactive again. This does not stop me from wearing paraphernalia.  My ‘nalia reminds me of good things and of friends I made.  It allows me to connect with people I wouldn’t ordinarily connect with, even if only fleetingly.  And I look rather good in black and gold. For me, my current reason for being inactive is financial.  I just don’t have the $150 to pay the fraternity for the benefit of a magazine that is consistently late, if it comes out at all.  That’s pretty much all I would get. I haven’t been a member of a chapter for many years.  I wasn’t a member of a chapter when I was a national committee chair, either.  Rather than go into those reasons, I want to share with you a list why people might be happy to represent their membership but loathe to become an active member of a local chapter:

  • The members of the chapter aren’t nice.
  • The grad chapter/grad members had an adversarial relationship with the undergrad chapter.
  • They are tired of being hit on at fraternity functions.
  • The local chapter is just wack/socially awkward/inept.
  • Tired of the scandals at the national level.
  • Don’t want to be begged for money at every chapter meeting.
  • Extremely difficult to be a leader in the chapter due to cliques or generational differences.
  • The chapter treated them poorly when they were a member – before you even joined the chapter yourself.
  • Don’t agree with the direction of Greek life as a whole anymore.
  • The local chapter is homophobic.
  • The local chapter is full of closet queens who won’t change the status quo.
  • The member is an introvert.

But none of those reasons impact the fact that said member’s life was changed when they became a member of the organization.  Becoming a member is a rite of passage to be proud of and a symbol of prestige in the community.  It’s possible to be proud of what you are and hesitant to be engaged at the same time. Nobody wants to be around smug people who think they’re better because they have the money and the time to be engaged.  And perhaps that’s what some of our organizations have become.   There are some people that I look at and praise their activity because they really do enjoy it.  Quietly, I am placing bets on when they, too, will be burned out from the drama and foolishness and become engaged in something else. A radical change in the culture of Greek life has to occur before the majority of the inactive members come back.  So long as the leadership and the rank-and-file alike are harping on this sense of “obligation” to be active, we will stay away, our time will go to other endeavors, and our money will go to other causes. Having been both engaged and disengaged, I can’t say that the inactive brothers have it wrong.  I’m proud to BE… and I’m happy to stay away from the mess I have encountered inside chapter walls.

Filed Under: Diary, Fraternalism

Harpo, who dese women?

June 3, 2014 by Rashid

http://vimeo.com/68784626

It’s funny how the above video has apparently been on Vimeo for 11 months but only just went viral (in my world) this morning.  In the space of an hour, three different friends told me about this video and asked for my comments.

After watching it yourself, I think you can understand that I am not necessarily a fan.  It definitely seemed like an interesting concept, but you can tell there are already some “characters” in the bunch who just want to be famous for the wrong reasons.

If I was going to be Executive Producer for an unscripted show about sorority life, here’s how it would go:

First, I’d call it “Joiners” and I wouldn’t limit it to sororities.

I’d cast an AKA, a Delta, a Link, a Jack and Jill mom, and an OES member.  My hope is that all five women know each other from their community work.  I’d want them to be in their late 30s at least so the world can see that membership really is for life.  And I want different types of orgs so the women can discuss why one might be in more than one.

I’d follow them from September through May as each woman plans their chapter’s major social/philanthropic event for the year.  I’d love some sort of friendly competition among the five, like who can raise the most money with their events.

Of course I’d want to follow them on service projects, conventions, parties, church, etc.

Joiners should be more documentary and less ratchet.  Which means it would only last a season, but at least it could be a season we’d be proud of.

I’d choose DC over Atlanta, but Baltimore or Philadelphia would be just as good.

Anyway, as far as the above project, I can see why it didn’t go anywhere.  The women involved are too young to be interesting, if you ask me, and too old and educated to be ratchet.

What do you think?

Filed Under: Diary, Fraternalism Tagged With: AKA, alpha kappa alpha, Delta Sigma Theta, DST, Jack and Jill, Links Inc, OES, Order of the Eastern Star

  • « Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Page 2
  • Page 3
  • Page 4
  • Page 5
  • Page 6
  • Page 7
  • Next Page »

Copyright © 2025 · Author Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in