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alpha kappa alpha
A Skee-Phi Wedding: Brother Ryan and Soror Allison
Brother Ryan Gilbreath is a Spring 2009 initiate of the Beta Gamma Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity at Virginia State University and a current member of Nu Lambda, the alumni chapter of Petersburg, Virginia. His bride, Allison, came to Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority via the Sigma Omicron Chapter at Virginia Wesleyan University. Their wedding took place on May 25, 2014 at the Founders Inn and Spa in Virginia Beach. Below the jump, Brother Gilbreath talks about Alpha’s role in his wedding, his family, and in his life.
The brotherhood that I have with my frat brothers is amazing. All of my groomsmen were Alphas and I regard them as actual “brothers” and not just members.
I am [the only Alpha in my family]. My dad is a Sigma from Alabama A&M who pledged back in the 80s. Me and my dad joke around about that all the time. But I told him that when I was looking at fraternities, Alpha really connected with me. I want to pass down my legacy to my son one day, but I will always respect his choices because at the end of the day, it’s his choice.
I loved my college experience after crossing; nothing like it! There is such a legacy that you have to uphold and you learn that it’s not about you but more about the fraternity. People look at you as a leader when you cross Alpha.
Alpha for me has always and will always be a pivotal area in my life. Alpha has taught me resilience and perseverance when it comes to life’s ups and downs. To always do what is right and to never give up; be a servant to all and to teach and uplift our communities.
Transferring to Nu Lambda [the alumni chapter in Petersburg, Virginia] for me was like coming home in a sense. The chapter has a mix of older and younger brothers and I gained great wisdom from both sides. I learned how to be an Alpha man even more, if you know what I mean.
For a wedding reception, Beta Gamma is known to put on a show! We performed a step from our 2009 neophyte show show and a party hop we learned from our big brothers. Five years later and we still had the show down pat. It’s still ingrained in me to this day.
I really wanted to incorporate the hymn with me and my wife in the middle. It was a very touching moment for us both and my wife teared up while I joined my bros. There is nothing like it. Our Greek roots (for me and my wife, who is an AKA) are part of our story. Also, if you did not notice from the video [below], our wedding colors were salmon pink and old gold!
My brothers have been there for me and I have been there for them. It’s deeper than the letters and the parties. I regard them as family.
I will never forget that wedding experience for the rest of my life!
Ryan + Allison | Founder’s Inn, VA Wedding Videographer | Delta Studio Productions | Virginia Wedding & Corporate Videographers from Delta Studio Productions on Vimeo.
Harpo, who dese women?
http://vimeo.com/68784626
It’s funny how the above video has apparently been on Vimeo for 11 months but only just went viral (in my world) this morning. In the space of an hour, three different friends told me about this video and asked for my comments.
After watching it yourself, I think you can understand that I am not necessarily a fan. It definitely seemed like an interesting concept, but you can tell there are already some “characters” in the bunch who just want to be famous for the wrong reasons.
If I was going to be Executive Producer for an unscripted show about sorority life, here’s how it would go:
First, I’d call it “Joiners” and I wouldn’t limit it to sororities.
I’d cast an AKA, a Delta, a Link, a Jack and Jill mom, and an OES member. My hope is that all five women know each other from their community work. I’d want them to be in their late 30s at least so the world can see that membership really is for life. And I want different types of orgs so the women can discuss why one might be in more than one.
I’d follow them from September through May as each woman plans their chapter’s major social/philanthropic event for the year. I’d love some sort of friendly competition among the five, like who can raise the most money with their events.
Of course I’d want to follow them on service projects, conventions, parties, church, etc.
Joiners should be more documentary and less ratchet. Which means it would only last a season, but at least it could be a season we’d be proud of.
I’d choose DC over Atlanta, but Baltimore or Philadelphia would be just as good.
Anyway, as far as the above project, I can see why it didn’t go anywhere. The women involved are too young to be interesting, if you ask me, and too old and educated to be ratchet.
What do you think?
Fraternal Friday: When it comes to probates, know when to fold ’em.
Today, the AKAs are coming out at Howard, as are the Ques, and probably a bunch of other folks. I will be 35 this year — gone are my days of showing up on Howard’s campus just to see probate shows. It’s a little unseemly to show up for a show to see some guys and girls you don’t know, even if one is an enthusiast of such things.
However, I do anticipate the many Instagram photos and YouTube videos which are sure to fill my newsfeeds in a few hours. Special shout out to Calilivin09, a former Howard student who did a really good job at documenting all the probate shows/neophyte shows for their entire time there. We underestimate the importance of documentation of these events, and thanks to the amateur documentarians, we can look, remember, compare, and smile.
The bad thing about YouTube is that for all the great neo shows that we’ve seen, we’ve also seen some pretty bad ones, haven’t we? The point of my post is not to clown the worst probate shows ever, but to give all of you in Greekdom just a few tips that can prevent you from having a bad coming out show.
Believe it or not, you don’t have to have a probate show. (Yes, I know they are called New Member Presentations now, but I’m still calling it a Probate.)
Yes, yes, I know on your campus everybody probates. And I’m sure you’re thinking if your chapter doesn’t probate, you will be seen as wack, cat, skaters, etc.
Who cares? The fact is your boys or your girls just might not be ready to present a perfect show in enough time. You might not have enough talented step masters in your chapter to teach them. Or maybe, just maybe, your organization has too many restrictive rules on probates to make it worthwhile.
You don’t have to explain to the public why you’re not having a probate. At the end of the day, never put out less than high quality when it comes to presenting your new members. If you can’t have an A+ probate, have an A+ alternative.
Ever been to a Cotillion? No, I’m not saying have a cotillion instead of a probate. But take the basic idea of introducing new members one by one in a formal way to the community and apply it to an event which would work on your campus.
Have a reception or a tea. Get a multipurpose room on campus, have some nice food, dress up, and introduce your new people. I bet your administrators and grad chapter would approve.
Looking for something less formal? Have a crossing party and introduce the new members by letting them stroll into the party. All you have to do is teach them one stroll.
Wanting to introduce your new members to the campus is valid, and your new members will certainly want to be introduced. But please ma’am, and please, sir, know your limitations. Where it’s time or talent or even challenges of finding flattering identical attire, know that a terrible probate will spell a terrible year.
A few years ago, a sorority I’m acquainted with had so many restrictions on probates that all they could really do was have an all-chapter step show. The entire chapter dressed alike, marched out, stepped, introduced themselves one by one, stepped some more, and strolled out. It was not only a debut for the new members, but a farewell for the seniors.
If restrictions are a problem, there are alternatives.
This is not a probate:
Nor is this a probate:
And this is not a probate:
Happy probate season, everyone!
The Chapter-publican Manifesto: Membership Selection, Legacy Clauses, and the Whole Shebang
So, about these chicks and their mothers who are suing Howard University and Alpha Kappa Alpha because they were denied membership into Alpha Chapter.
Actually, I don’t want to talk about them at all. They suck.
Let us instead talk about being a Chapter-publican. Among my fraternity, I tell brothers that I am an Alphapublican. That means I believe that the most important unit in the fraternity is the chapter. It is the chapter who recruits, retains, and reclaims the membership. It is the chapter which serves the community. People join chapters. Based on the national organization’s legacy, of course, but they still join chapters. In an area like Washington, DC, or any other large metropolitan area, there are often multiple chapters of the same organization, each with their own personality and culture.
Leadership of the organizations should support the work of the chapters. People who aspire to be leaders should enjoy the chapter experience – not think about the glory and prestige of being a national, regional, cluster, state, or district officer.
The national headquarters of the organizations should focus on chapter services – giving the chapters what they need in a timely manner to fulfill their obligations of service to the communities.
The chapter is the most important unit. Not the region. Not the cluster. The chapter. Support the chapters.
As such, I believe that the chapter ought to have the final say in matters of membership selection. Always. Even when they are morally or ethically questionable.
First and foremost, every chapter vote ought to be final. When a chapter comes together to vote on who they want, the organization should trust that they have carefully considered who they want, who qualifies, who will be the best fit, etc. If you as an organization or an organization leader can’t trust that you have given the chapters the proper tools to make the right selection, then you have already failed them. Spend your time on training the chapters on how to identify the right candidates.
No one outside of the chapter or higher than the chapter should have the right to change the chapter’s vote in any way. You know what that means? No add-ons. If the chapter has not voted affirmatively on you, then this is the end of the road. There should be no way at all to appeal a decision of the chapter on matters of membership. No Region Directors adding people on after the vote. No parents calling headquarters. No. No, no, no. Bad.
And you know what? No take-offs. It wasn’t until very recently that I learned that some organizations have the power to actually remove a man or woman that the chapter has voted on for specious reasons. Again, if you are empowering the chapter to make the decision to select a line, how is it that one has the time to even check up behind that chapter to “just make sure” they have done everything properly? Sure, a chapter here and there might assist an applicant in fraudulently gaining entry, such as knowledge that the candidate doesn’t reside in the service area of the chapter, or a letter of recommendation which suggests a deeper knowledge of the candidate than is accurate, but you know what? Who cares? The chapter voted yes. The chapter wants the candidate.
Which leads me to the problem of so-called legacy clauses. And no, this is not just an Alpha Kappa Alpha problem. Theirs is just the one you know about.
I am against any policy which bypasses the chapter vote. I do understand the desire to have a policy which honors the bond between mother and daughter, father and son, or between siblings. I get it. I really do. But this bond should not be at the expense of the sovereignty of the chapter.
If your daughter is the bee’s knees, then let her shine on her own. If your son is the top banana, then the chapter will know it. But you, as their parent, will be biased. You just will be. By the time they submit an application, you will have seen their growth over two decades. You will see how far they have come. The chapter they are pursuing will only have known then for two or three semesters. Let them fall in love with your child as you did.
And acknowledge that while we do join organizations, we join them through chapters. The person must fit in the chapter. Let your child find out if they fit. Let the chapter make that determination. Don’t rob your child of the opportunity to forge their own path.
As Oprah quoted someone else on her show, there is a time for the parent to transition from manager to consultant. The women involved in this lawsuit never made that transition. If you are a Greek parent, do your children and your organization a favor: stay out of the membership process until it’s time for you to pin them or come to their neophyte show. It’s the best gift you could give them.
And ponder what I mean by becoming a Chapterpublican yourself. Consider the rights of your chapter, what’s best for your chapter, how your chapter can best serve the community. Don’t undermine your chapter – or anyone else’s – by robbing them of the right, privilege, and responsibility of selecting new members.