Rashid Darden

Old Gold Soul Press

Main navigation

Rashid

Sisterhood Under the Microscope: Respectability, Social Media, and VH1’s “Sorority Sisters”

by

Last night, I watched VH1’s Sorority Sisters.  It’s a new reality show following a group of women in Atlanta who are all members of various black sororities.  This summer, a teaser was released and the good respectable black folks of the internet were whipped into a frenzy.  Boycotts ensued and the teaser was removed from Vimeo.

Then, in a surprise move, VH1 announced just last week that Sorority Sisters would indeed be making it to prime time, with the popular Love & Hip-Hop New York as the lead-in.  The good respectable black folks of the internet were shocked–indeed, horrified–to see that their petition had failed despite all their best efforts.  I like reality television so I knew right from the beginning that I would be watching.  VH1 in particular invests in their unscripted programming in ways some of the other networks do not, so hopefully the production values would suggest a strong investment.

The show itself entertained me.  What sets it apart is that I didn’t have to be a housewife, doctor or doctor’s partner, music mogul, or even wealthy to truly connect with the cast. They were all college educated people who were involved in Greek life.  That’s me, too.

I think what makes the show work for me is also why it has frightened so many of the Greeks out there: it is familiar.  It is personal.  It is revealing.

The paper/made debate was brought up as a tangent to the issue of perps.  Is she really a soror?  Is she lying?  Why is she evasive?  Is she real? This is the black Greek culture.  This is not surprising at all–it’s just now in the public sphere.

The struggle to accept white members of BGLOs was on full display.  So was the teasing of the lone Lady Sigma.  This is not new.

I can tell you as a guest blogger for Divine Nine Lover, the aspirants who are in college now already know this culture.  We put it on full display right in front of them.  I know because they ask us all the time “Why should we be discreet when we know everybody’s business already?”

I get it.  I feel them.  That horse is already out of the barn.

And I know my “nieces” and “nephews” will be watching this show and will have more questions, and I’m here for it.  I think perhaps we underestimate this younger generation.  They code-switch well.  They know, generally, what’s appropriate and what’s not, just like with any other reality show.

But what’s bothered me has been the response from my fellow Greeks, even before the first episode dropped.  You had some people outlining how to conduct a boycott of the show’s advertisers.

How the hell you gonna boycott a show you haven’t seen yet when some of your organizations won’t even let you wear letters to protests?

Listen:  I am in favor of any structure which sheds light on the truth.  It is my opinion that Sorority Sisters shows the truth of membership in a Greek letter organization.  It won’t always be pretty and prissy.

Some sorority members have terrible attitudes.  So do some fraternity members.  We are not all Martin Luther King–nor do some of us want to be.

Some sorority members are burlesque performers. And you know what?  Some fraternity members are very successful porn stars.  I am here for it.

Some brothers and sisters are white–and maybe, just maybe when we see Shanna’s story unfold, the members of our orgs who have problems with white members can get over it, and the ones who treat white members like a special accomplishment can get over that, too.

My life as a member of Alpha Phi Alpha has not always been great, and I tell my truth as often as I am able.  When I published my first novel Lazarus in 2005, the reactions from my brothers were mixed.  Only three people in my alumni chapter supported me with a purchase.  I was surrounded by brothers at Howard University and told the founders would be rolling over in their graves because of me.  Another brother blocked my website from the university’s servers.  And even at the Centennial convention, a brother spent twenty minutes telling me how he couldn’t support a novel about gay people.  (But at minute 21, he sho-nuff bought one.)

I say these things not because I am bitter, but because I, too, have been boycotted.  I was Alpha’s inconvenient truth: an openly gay member who was always openly gay who wrote books with gay themes.  Brothers were not feeling that, me, my books, nothing.  No, not all brothers.  Many outside my chapter and outside my area were very supportive and still are.  I made some of the best friends of my life in the frat at that time, because real people attract real people.

But to just say from the very beginning that you won’t support a show about sorority women just for the possibility that it might portray the sororities in a negative light is hypocritical and reeks of respectability politics.

Oh no, can’t show this on TV!

It will embarrass us!

It will make us all look bad!

Sorority Sisters doesn’t make sororities look bad.  It is a reflection (and possibly amplification) of just….life.

Obnoxious.  Sensitive.  Naive.  Sisterly.  Loving.  Evil.  Greedy.  Compassionate.  Wise.  Salt of the earth.  Head in the clouds.

That’s what I saw.

I see the same things when I watch Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta.  Yes, home of Joseline Hernandez and Stevie J and Mimi and the Shower Rod.

You don’t see the sensitivity of Joseline under her coarse exterior?  You don’t feel a kinship with who she is and what she’s been through?  When you see the “Puerto Rican Princess,” don’t you see your own sister?

Maybe that’s the problem.  We’re so busy “othering” the reality stars who didn’t go to college, who didn’t pledge, who are just common and ratchet and therefore beneath us, that we miss their own humanity and our kinship with them as human beings.

No show of this kind will be everything you want it to be.  There will be drama.  There will be larger-than-life personalities.  But please don’t characterize this show as the worst thing to happen to Greekdom.  Fraternities and sororities have far worse problems with which to concern themselves.

 

 

“Sorority Sisters” is here whether you like it or not

by

This summer, Greekdom was in an uproar over the reality show “Sorority Sisters” that was threatening to cross over into the pantheon of ratchet reality shows.  It seemed as though Mona Scott Young was attached to the project at that time.  Petitions were circulated asking, begging, and pleading VH1 to not move forward with this.

But it’s here, so get ready.  According to VH1, Mona isn’t even producing this, so I don’t know.

I watch a lot of television.  Like, a lot.  So I’m not going to boycott this particular show when I could be boycotting a whole lot of other ones before it. I’ll watch it and decide if I want to watch a second episode.  But I’ve watched every other Greek-related show out there, so why not this one, too?

Let me know what you think when you’ve seen it.

“To Destroy All Prejudices”

by

When I created Notable Alphas, it was simply an experiment.  I wanted to know whether there was enough positive news about members and chapters of Alpha Phi Alpha to provide a steady flow of content on an independent website, Facebook page, Twitter, and Tumblr.  In the past year, I’ve listened to the feedback of Brothers in my circle.  There are far fewer videos of new member presentations and less news from Capitol Hill.  There are more stories about Brothers in entertainment and in social justice.  From time to time, I will also provide an editorial or profile that has more of “me” in it—I am a novelist first, and I feel more comfortable in feature writing than hard news.

This will be a “me” piece.

My time as an Alpha has not been without incident.  There have been extremely high peaks and there have been valleys from which I thought I would not recover.  There has been the realization that my own leadership style is better suited for a much smaller organization, therefore ending my personal ambitions; yet I was able to make significant contributions as a national committee chairman.

In recent years, I have realized that in addition to being a creative person, I am an introvert.  Introverts often perform well independently, in solitude.  I have, in earnest, reached out to members of other Greek letter organizations to see whether the talents of introverts are being properly utilized on the micro and macro levels.  The jury is still out.

For me, Notable Alphas is the best possible way for me to give back to brothers who have given so much to me.  Outside of the chapters, the districts, the regions, the conventions, there have been great men, influential men in my life who I am honored to have considered friends.  I am not talking about the Martin Luther Kings and Marion Barrys of Alpha.  I mean the roommates, the brothers I met serendipitously at conferences, the friends I made back in the days of BlackPlanet, GreekChat, and MegaGreek.

As I said on Founders Day in 2009:

alphatimehop-903x1024

When Alpha Phi Alpha was founded, an entirely new type of organization was born.  It was social, yes, in that fellowship was a very important part of the development of its members.  And it was surely considered a general fraternity which didn’t restrict membership purely on major or class standing.  Nor was it solely a service fraternity like my beloved Alpha Phi Omega.  No, this organization was, from the very beginning, one devoted to social justice even more than fellowship, philanthropy, and academic achievement.

In the preamble to the fraternity’s constitution, there is an admonition to “destroy all prejudices.”  For my entire time as an Alpha, I have strived to embody that particular charge.  I have never hidden my sexual orientation from the brotherhood, not just because I knew doing so would kill my spirit, but because I knew that at some point in the future, I would be looked to by a younger brother as a role model.  I had to be me, in spite of the repercussions, so that the road would be easier for others.

There were repercussions.  I am still here.

I have tried to be a voice for religious minorities in the fraternity as well.  I have tried to be a voice for the artists who are often drowned out in rooms full of doctors, lawyers, and businessmen.  And even though I am grad-made and proud, I have spoken up for college brothers–even when there were none within earshot.

I have always believed that we needed to destroy our own prejudices before we can dare work on destroying the world’s.  But now I fear that I have waited too long—the prejudices of the world are destroying us.

The time for introspection has passed.  The time has now come for action.

Alpha is what it is.  We were good.  What we used to be worked.  Though we are still what we once were, it is now time to be who we should be.

We have to be actively engaged in the liberation of our people from a system which is literally murdering us.  We cannot show up just for the protests and the photo opportunities.  We have to take deliberate actions as a body of hundreds of thousands of active and inactive members.

We have to dismantle white supremacy.  We need to arm ourselves with the many works—scholarly and accessible—that will train our members how to think critically about what is happening to us, from mass incarceration to academic inequities.

We have to expose white privilege everyplace that it lives.

We have to understand that mentoring black boys won’t prevent them from getting shot by racist police officers.

We have to cast off the years of black respectability politics that inform our current paradigm and investigate entirely different ways of service and advocacy.

We have to be feminists.  We have to be leaders in the true equality of womanhood while recognizing that they, too, exist in a system which was not designed for their protection.  We must fully stand up against our own male privilege and misogyny.  We need to stop raping women.  We need to believe women who say they are raped.  We need to stop being bystanders to behaviors which harm women and threaten their equality.

We have to end hazing.

We have to end brutality.

We have to turn up.

We have to regenerate.

We have to be so much more to so many more people so that we can simply live.

The battle is not the same as it was in 1906.

Trayvon Martin’s killer walks free.

Mike Brown’s killer walks free.

Eric Garner’s killer walks free.

Hell has finally frozen over, Brothers.  For our people, for our future, for the world:  it’s time to fight on the ice.

***

Brother Rashid Darden is a novelist.  This editorial is not sponsored by any entity and was not reviewed or endorsed by Alpha Phi Alpha.

 

 

Ferguson, Social Media, and Good White Folks

by

It seems as though we are entering into a new era of the civil rights movement and the onus is on white people to put their heads into the game.

There are many other writers who are versed in social justice generally and Ferguson specifically that can address the details of what’s going on globally.  As for me, I just want to focus on what I’m observing in my own social media sphere.

I see people of color who are hurting.  I am hurting.  We’ve had enough.  We are tired of being the only people speaking out when another black person gets killed at the hands of the police, or at the hands of cowards who think they are the police.

We’re tired of being the go-to people when good white folks need to get their thoughts organized.  But thankfully, good white folks are finally getting it!  This time, things have been different for me.  I haven’t been sent a lot of personal messages on what white people should do, or say, or how they should act, or where they should volunteer or donate.

Now I see my white friends (my real white friends, not the ones I happen to be connected to) actually engaging their own circles.  They are speaking out first on these injustices.  They are being intentional in their outreach to each other.  They are acknowledging their whiteness and the privilege it entails.

In fact, #WhitePrivilegeWednesday arose as a means of white folks talking to each other about their privilege.  It’s a day I get to be silent (if I choose) and let white people talk it out themselves.  I can only do so much as a magical negro patient black man person, but white folks can actually listen to each other, challenge each other, and somehow come to an understanding on the complex issues we’re facing.

I am proud of Good White Folks.  They are also fighting against the fallacy of “black on black violence” and other distracting debates.

And you know what?

It’s all because they learned how to Google the same shit I Googled when I needed to learn more about these things myself.  They follow the same blogs I do, read the same books I have, and otherwise educated themselves.  They don’t rely solely on my worldview.  However, they do give me the space to be pissed, to cuss, and to say “Fuck white people” without them chiming in with “Not all white people.”

There is still a lot of work to be done, though.  Good White Folks still have to educate the white folks who call us “animals” and “savages” when we riot and loot.  They have to educate the white folks who believe in the myth of the bootstraps.  They have so much work to do, but they can do it.

But I’ll tell you one thing…it took me years to get to the point where I am only connected to white people who are committed to dismantling white supremacy.

And…

Trust…

I know a-plenty of black folks who rely on white supremacy to build their own personal wealth.  I mean, I did go to Georgetown.  As my mom told me at a young age, when the revolution comes, some black folks are gonna have to go, too.

A Micro-Renaissance

by

I feel as though I haven’t written in months.  I probably haven’t.  That will change.

The things in Ferguson have been weighing heavily on my mind, as has the death of my fraternity brother Marion Barry.

But that was yesterday.

It’s time to come back.

Thank you to the women in this picture, my sister-authors, for helping me bounce back.  And you ain’t even know it.

More to come.