In early November 2023, FMW hosted an event called “Wait For It” in which Friends under 40 and Friends of Color of any age were invited to contemplate and brainstorm FMW’s future.
The event consisted of two main parts: A circle (in the restorative tradition) in which participants discussed what they felt FMW’s main, underlying problems or concerns were, and then an ideation (brainstorming session) on how FMW could address those problems.
These activities represented Parts Three and Four of the Restorative Quaker Design process. The event was implemented under the idea that FMW’s leadership had already, at least in some ways, implemented Parts One and Two: Worship around the idea that FMW has a large, complicated problem that must be solved, and that FMW has already done some work to understand its own bias and participation in white supremacist culture. (See the meeting’s anti-racist statement and work of the change group)
In my opinion, Friends felt that FMW generally does a good job aligning their spiritual beliefs with their public witness. They appreciate the diversity of the Quaker faith and that it does not prevent them from reading other holy texts or using other practices. Friends also stated satisfaction with the community they are building within their own age groups.
Friends also had general and pointed concerns. Some Friends mentioned specific harms which occurred to them. A reasonable person could surmise that this harm was because of their marginalized identity (race, gender, etc.) There was a wide variety of ideas about inclusion in FMW business–what did not specifically come up was a notion that younger Friends are over-asked to commit. I believe that younger Friends seem to have good boundaries about their commitments.
Instead, what emerged was the following overarching concern: the FMW community itself is not as strong as it thinks it is, as evidenced by a wide gap in knowledge about issues that are the forefront of FMW leadership but is new information to younger Friends. This, to me, is an issue of not only communication, but of education and of connection.
- How does FMW as an institution accessibly communicate about itself to its own community?
- How does FMW as a matter of practice educate its members on its own operations?
- How does FMW build community and connection among diverse individuals, families, and communities?
The brainstorming session, quite naturally, led to many ideas about how FMW can build or rebuild its community, through financial means, physical means (including, but not limited to ideas about how to use the building), social means, and spiritual means.
Another thread of this conversation that emerged for me, but was not explicitly addressed, is that many newcomers find discrepancies between Quaker practice as they learn from a book, and Quaker practice as FMW does it. This is not a bad thing, but there is no primer that is specific to FMW about how to get engaged. Most present did not find “just join a committee” to be a reasonable ask, especially if some committees are more interesting than others.
I recommend the following next steps:
This session should be repeated virtually for Friends of Color and under forties who could not attend in person.
This session should then be expanded and opened to the whole committee in a day-long conference format, but in a way that centers the voices of Friends of Color and under-forties. There was a concern that once the older friends are invited, then their weight and power will overshadow what this group has already identified as the main problem.
I think it is safe to say that the group was interested in and concerned with the mortgage and also did not yet have unity on whether or not FMW should be a “landlord.” There was, however, unity that a more solid foundation as a community will engender greater feelings of care about the bigger issues.
All of the brainstormed ideas are below. I did not consolidate ideas, so many are repeated. In less than four cases, a word or phrase was illegible to me and was omitted.
I am very, very grateful for the lunch provided and all of the other support, moral and otherwise, that you have provided leading up to this event. Friends felt so much better after this process and seem, to me, to be quite hopeful for the future.
I encourage you to read more about Restorative Quaker Design to get a glimpse at a more long-term outlook on next steps.
Financial Solutions
- Open the books. Provide clear documentation of the meeting’s financial decisions and when members can provide input into them. Let visitors/not-yet-members know the current status.
- Don’t charge for space use by aligned groups in the community if spaces are available and friends are willing to be friendly office presence.
- Practice actual mutual aid.
- Help us make wills and leave money to FMW in them.
- Clothing drive or soup kitchen spearheaded by us & affirming organizations.
- Buy ads?
- Executive summary/master plan for what the building will become/what it will be used for, who decides, how much it will cost, & on what timeline.
- Sliding scale, equity focused tithing.
- Personal budget trainings
- Quaker job training program. Quakers work with DCPL? Jobs guarantee?
- Don’t just reach out to young people with a financial ask–reach out with an intention to shape a shared vision (like this activity)
- Reject landlord-ism
- Building up human resources session
- “So You Wanna Learn Accounting” mentorship program
- Invite the DC community to donate. “Save the Clock Tower” kinda thing
- Newcomer Financial Transparency Report: One page, graphs, breakdown/what percentage of each dollar goes to each purpose
- Financial stewardship classes to help us make better financial choices so that we can give more to FMW Some of us have financial debt that is blocking us, and with better mentorship we could get unblocked & contribute more to the building and other needs.
- A lot of older folks at FMW occupy spaces of social and financial power. I’m wondering if there is a way for them to transmit that social capital more intentionally through this institution to younger and more marginalized groups.
Social Solutions
- Quinn organized a fishbowl-style session on trans liberation that explicitly prioritize the voices of trans folks. Other (cis) attendees were invited to listen but did not set the agenda. The meeting was not for their benefit. Because of this structure, I as a cis person had the benefit of listening to a much more sophisticated conversation that moved me forward in my own understanding, but the conversation wasn’t for me. Wondering how we might re-create this listening experience with various groups (including young people).
- Welcome more input on FMW website
- FMW housing, zoning, transportation, and local issues committee; regularly corresponding with Peace & Social Concerns, anti-racism, and other relevant/overlapping committees. (Also building and/or finance committee?)
- Film & expanded discussions
- Catered ethnic food dinners
- Lectures/talks open to all
- FMW camping weekend
- Potlucks
- More singing
- Track new attendees in Salesforce (but seriously)
- Match groups up for random dinners
- Intergenerational dinner hangs (Friendly 8s but make it real)
- Drag show for Pride
- Festivus
- Friendly 8 dinners (I miss these)
- Shorter decision-making meetings that people can drop in on if possible
- Discord server
- FMW mentorship program for new attendees
- Tarot and other opportunities to share what we’re really preoccupied about
- Affinity group structure (not in a spicy sense)
- Activity groups (crafts, biking, things with water, games)
- Launch an advancement and outreach committee
- Drugs (low pressure, nonsponsored, discrete, spiritual)
- Committee speed-dating monthly
- Octopus Model! [Note: I do not remember if this was defined, but here is a link to one definition]
- Have more lists of community services members can offer one another, such as pet sitting, house sitting, mechanical, odd jobs, house repairs, etc.
- Real talk on class and income disparity in FMW
- Host a session to identify pressing concerns of Friends (money management, technology) and match up mentor/mentee small groups
- Invite our friends of color to a newcomers/Friends of color meeting affiliated with FMW
- Skill-sharing sessions! In the spirit of the simplicity testimony, gather Friends good at mending things to mend clothing, bikes, lamps, etc
Physical Solutions
- Post 10:30am/late arrival meeting space
- Hold more worship groups in different neighborhoods, like NSO in Your Neighborhood
- Split into mini-meetings all over DC/DMV every few months
- Open a warming room for unsheltered folks
- Give everyone keys
- Free coworking space
- Separate silent/active worship spaces at 10:30am
- More comfortable chairs
- Smaller house meetings at people’s houses
- Meeting in the park
- Position outdoor worship in the sun (we do this)
- Stop locking the garden fence (remove it?)
- Members should be able to use the building rooms for personal use for free.
- Consider providing lower-cost spaces for activist groups to meet, including for groups that attenders are in (we do this)
- Young Adult Friend control of a specific room at FMW
- A meeting near the Green Line!
- If we ask other meetings to support FMW as DC’s meeting, we should also have some boarding spaces for low income Friends passing through. This could even be keeping a record of spare bedrooms, etc.
- Small local groups that are deliberately intergenerational, interracial, etc
- I would like a career alignment to spiritual practice space. Like a WeWork for Quaker professionals with monthly and quarterly talks on our vision of the future that we hope our work will make possible.
Spiritual Solutions
- Clearness committees for common concerns
- Bring your family to meeting day?
- Ask people not to speak two weeks in a row
- Think of social justice outside of the news cycle
- Insist more vehemently that people not speak unless God-led.
- Workshops on how/when to share a message
- Weekly queries for all meetings for worship
- Greater use of clearness committees
- Pastoral care for Friends going through major life events, such as divorce, bankruptcy, foreclosure, drug treatment, new career opportunities.
- Keep working on including the Zoom attendees, such as passing around a microphone so people on Zoom can hear
- Meeting for Worship in Spanish (integrated with everyone or separate)
- Worship-sharing every Sunday (Cambridge Friends does this and it’s great)
- LGBT+ worship group? We stopped it for reasons but what about at least looking at it again?
- New member meeting
- Outdoor meetings at multiple sites
- 2-3 retreats per year (one day, half day)
- Singing
- Worship in the woods (solstices and equinoxes)
- Explicit translation support available (with sign-ups to support)
- More sessions on “Quaker Practice” where we learn how to use it and how to change it together
- Worship sharing monthly on core Quaker testimonies
- Post-meeting worship share/discussion group for new attenders
- Outdoor meeting
- Gain members/visitors without proselytizing
- Proselytize
- Weighty friend vibe checks
- Secular humanism spirituality groups
- More pagan worship opportunities
- Skill share among friends based on gifts
- Outdoor meeting for worship including somewhere in Northeast, ideally Metro accessible
- Peace & Social Concerns *general meeting*
- Music & spiritual art beyond the hymnals
- Regularly scheduled worship sharing
- Make meeting for worship less opaque to visitors and be better about announcements
- Interfaith spiritual haring/solidarity building
- Shared meetings with local masjids, temples, etc.
- Talk about faith practices but also life concerns/shared interests
- Once a month silent retreat for eight-hour period including worship sharing
- Collective food prepared for breakfast, lunch, & dinner with minimal donation